Given that both my kids were exposed to books reasonably early and certainly often, I have been surprised at what has happened since then. While both a excelling at reading at school, my DS is significantly delayed in his phyiscal writing skills and my DD, though more keen on writing, is not progressing especially. It turns out that my assumption that reading and writing were connected in the brain is not entirely accurate.
My beautiful, beloved, bright boy can't write. Hates it. Cannot easily recall how letters are formed. Cannot keep the spelling on simple words in his memory long enough to write them. Insists I spell them to him slowly before he writes them. His teacher reports that he is clearly bright, but gives up easily and cries when trying to write in class.
His teacher reports that he is clearly bright, but gives up easily and cries when trying to write in class.
This is a boy who can construct complex train tracks, fluently surf You tube for Thomas the Tank Engine train set ups and Lego design videos. yet we are being told and have seen that he has trouble typing on a computer, recalling letters unless told the word one letter at a time and writing. I have seen his written work and it is like a weak kindergartener's. He cannot consistently write in lower case. He avoids letters he find difficult to form.
My DD was a very interactive early reader, insisting on "reading" Ten little lady bugs every night and counting them... with some interesting repetitions and missed numbers. Her mantra was "I can do it! I can do it Mummy!" She learnt many of the words by heart and would "read" the sentences with expression. My DS start recognising whole words- at first I'd say can you show me a T on the page of his beloved Thomas the Tank Engine books, then soon the words Thomas,Tiger, was, is he and so on. All this was happening while they were both in preschool. Soon he was able to recognise phrases and read them. The Story of Growl was a favorite book teh kids would interact with and "read" by memory.
The limited amount I knew about early literacy suggested all this was fine and dandy. What I didn't realise was that writing would be problem for my boy. I had assumed that as a good reader he wouldn't have any particular trouble with writing. After he proudly started Kindergarten at school, he began the Home Reader Program where children bring home graded readers to read with Mum and Dad (or other carers). He loved recording a smile, neutral or unhappy face in the Record book and achieving goals such as 25 nights straight reading. He dictated his comments to me. When he got his first report everything was satisfactory- except Reading which was Highly achieved, and writing which was less than satisfactory. We had been told briefly by his teacher she was worried about his fine motor skills, and looking back their were signs in the feedback from preschool. In the constant running from job to after school care, to home,to bed to starting it all over again, we were not really getting much done about it. I thought well, he's left handed as I am, so we are both slow to write.
It was probably halfway through the year before I realised he wasn't paricipating in homework properly. Yes indeed! Homework in Kindergarten is apparently the norm in NSW and in our local primary. With much pushing from me he started to have a go at actually preparing his Public speaking tasks, and was very sucessful in two talks. One about the first steam train in NSW and the other about his beloved cuddly toy Chicken. Trying to persuade him to do any writing practice however was like asking him to build a the Harbour Bridge out of toothpicks. Much struggling, refusal, tantrums and running away. Limited time in the evenings after rushing home from work had me letting it slide.
Now in first class, he is still a reluctant writer as his teacher calls it. She has sent home various resources for him to use- twice. The first lot were hidden in the bottom of his bag. His increased homework tasks- now there are weekly spelling words to learn and write as well as a homework grid- were not brought home for many weeks. We were ignorant of what he SHOULD be doing beyond the public speaking. This is yet another instance where I curse my paid work status. A real mother should be at home, picking them up from school and following up on these tasks, I told myself. I felt I was failing him, and that his teachers must think we are bad parents. In practice I cannot stay home unless we want to starve. It simply isn't going to happen. My working hours and my DH's mean that we are often using after school care, which cannot provide the kind of structured homework support time my DS needs.
After two meetings with his dedicated teacher, I decided to get heavy handed with the forced homework. Shouting, screaming, crying- and that was just me! We have had some success with the homework grid as it includes a variety of activities. I have made up sentences with letters missing from key words found in his spelling book for him to fill in. Early on he showed an interest in my Take 5 word puzzles and wanted to help me do them, so I thought writing his own might help. We pasted in photos of weekend trips out as part of his culutral learning. Success - some effort for about two weeks. This is after many weeks of not doing any homework effectively. Certainly not writing homework.
Then once again my work schedule got heavier, stopping me being able to do much on the week nights. Every weekend I tried to get some of his homework done- push, push, push with less effect. It has been Mummy filling in the grid more them him actually doing the tasks. I would write exercises for him in the relevant books, asking that they be done in my absence, but most often nothing would be completed. iAsked his Dad to push him with some success. But frankly when the slightly earlier home parent is trying to cook dinner, bath children, prepare lunches and uniforms, there is not much time before bed to get homework done with a child who doesn't want to do it.
Over this school holidays and the last there have been ambitious plans to make him write something every day. Both times this has failed though SOME writing has been done and SOME spelling games. His sister is more keen to write than he is, so her desire to write on the chalk board has been motivating. He cannot possibly let his younger sibling WIN! I successfully persuaded him to write a Thank you letter to his Nan on decorative paper this weekend. One line. I made him do it 3 times as when he gets frustrated he starts laughing and deliberately scribbling. It took a good 30 minutes. I have observed him in class one afternoon when I was able to pick them up from school early. In 20 minutes he has written one word to other children's 10 -20. Not original composition but copying from the Smart Board.
We have resorted to playing spelling games in the bath. He "writes" in the steam on the glass shower divder. He spells aloud while in the bubbles, competing with his sister for "points". We play spelling games in the car.
I asked him to check my spelling using his list one day while I was washing the dishes. He would tell me the word, I would spell it as he read along to check. Every so often Mummy would deliberately misspell a word.
Ds is good at picking this up and correcting me.
Where to now?
Trying to organise time to see specialists on the recommendations of his teachers. We are looking into a Behavioural optometrist and an Occupational therapist. Both of these will probably have to be paid for privately, which implies more paid overtime for me, in order to pay for it. Less time to spend just trying to get him to TRY.
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